“The Power Of Weakness In Parenting”

In every victory, may it be said of me, "Christ alone is our strength." I want you to turn in your Bibles to 2 Chronicles Chapter 20, and you can find that on Page 372 in your pew Bible.  While you're turning there, I, too, want to encourage you to pray for Pastor Tony.  He has been a model for me, personally, in his humility finding strength in God alone as he has gone through this trial and I know he would be blessed by your prayers.

2 Chronicles Chapter 20, beginning with verse 1:

¹"After this the Moabites and Ammonites, and with them some of the Meunites, came against Jehoshaphat for battle.  ²Some men came and told Jehoshaphat, "A great multitude is coming against you from Edom, ³from beyond the sea; and, behold, they are in Hazaon-Tamar" (that is, Engedi).  Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the LORD and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah. ⁴And Judah assembled to seek help from the LORD; from all the cities of Judah they came to seek the LORD. 

⁵And Jehoshaphat stood in the assembly of Judah in Jerusalem in the house of the LORD, before the new court, ⁶and said, "O LORD, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations.  In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you,  ⁷Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? ⁸And they have lived in it and have built for you in it a sanctuary for your name, saying ⁹"If disaster comes upon us, the sword, judgment, or pestilence, or famine, we will stand before this house and before you--for your name is in this house--and cry out to you in our affliction, and you will hear and save.

¹⁰And now, behold, the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir, whom you would not let Israel invade when they came from the land of Egypt, and whom they avoided and did not destroy-- ¹¹behold, they reward us by coming to drive us out of your possession, which you have given us to inherit.  ¹²O our God, will you not execute judgment on them?  For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are own you.

¹³Meanwhile, all Judah stood before the LORD with their little ones, their wives and their children. ¹⁴And the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jahaziel the son of Zechariah, son of Benaiah, son of Jeiel, sone of mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, in the midst of the assembly.  ¹⁵And he said, "Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you,'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's. ¹⁶Tomorrow go down against them.  Behold, they will come up by the ascent if Ziz.  You will find them at the end of the valley, east of the wilderness of Jeruel.  ¹⁷You will not need to fight in this battle.  Stand firm.  Hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed.  Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you.

¹⁸Then Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell down before the LORD, worshipping the LORD.  ¹⁹And the Levites, of the Kohathites and the Korahites, stood up to praise the LORD, the God of Israel, with a very loud voice.

²⁰And they rose early in the morning and went out into the wilderness of Tekoa.  And when they went out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Hear me, Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem!  Believe in the LORD your God, and you will be established; believe his prophets, and you will succeed. ²¹And when he had taken counsel with the people, he appointed those who were to sing to the LORD and praise him in holy attire, as they went before the army and say,"

          "Give thanks to the LORD,

          For his steadfast love endures forever."

²²And when they began to sing and praise, the LORD set an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab and Mount Seir, who had come against Juday so that they were routed.  ²³For the men of Ammon and Moab rose against the inhabitants of Mout Seir, devoting them to destruction, and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, they all helped to destroy one another.

And then jump down to Verse 29:

²⁹"And the fear of God came on all the kingdoms of the countries when they hard that the LORD had fought against the enemies of Israel.  SO the realm of Jehoshaphat was quiet, for his God gave him rest all around."

Let's pray together one more time. 

Father in heaven, You are a great God and we are weak people.  Help us now, help us see clearly from this text here that we cannot do it on our own, we need You.  Open up our ears and our eyes to your truth now, in Jesus's name, Amen.

A few years ago, on the 4^th of July, my family and I decided to walk down to the neighborhood parade and carnival that was going on, and before that, we decided to dress our little girls in their red, white and blue matching outfits and we kind of got into the act and we put on some clothes that would match them, so that we were like the All American family as we walked down with our strollers toward the parade.  And we went down there and it was quite a scene, as you can imagine, people were eating and enjoying the summer day, and, little firecrackers going off here and there, and it was a lot of fun.  But then, my oldest girl, Emie, who was 2 at the time, decided to get a little restless.  I don't know if it was the sun, if she was tired or what, but she was having a meltdown, and we were in the midst of hundreds of people, and so we tried to offer her a bottle of water; that did not work.  So we tried to offer her a little toy, maybe that would work, no; she had not part of that.  And so, then, we decided, she was in the stroller, maybe if we put that down to recline a little bit so she could lay down, she had no part of that.  She was inconsolable, just twisting all around, and meanwhile, people are starting to look at us from all around, thinking, 'Wow, they can't get control of their kids,' and I'm thinking, "Wow, I know!" [Laughter] Thanks for telling me the obvious.  But, at that point, at that point, we had no where to go, we had nothing to do, so we decided we had to get out of there as fast as we could with stroller in hand, and we just booked it out of there.  And so, if you can imagine this scene in and amongst this sea of people, Emie is just thrashing and whatever, and crying, and all of this, and at about that time, I glanced down at what I was wearing, alright? And just to preface that a little bit, my gracious wife and my girls had given me a special gift for both Father's Day and as a gift for the 4^th of July, and it was a T-shirt, and I have that T-shirt here, and let me show you, some of you won't be able to see this, but, see what it says on the front, "Greatest Dad."  [Laughter]  Yeah, right….Greatest dad! [Laughter]  So there I was with the T-shirt on, I couldn't don anything about the T-shirt, I was thinking to myself, "How can I hide the T-shirt as I was going out of there with the stroller?"  I thought, maybe I can just take it off real quick and turn it inside out, maybe that would work, but it was too late, you know, I had that T-shirt on and, by the time we finally got back to our house, and put Emie up for a nap, I just realized to myself, "God, you really have a sense of humor don't you?" You know you really have a way of humbling us." And about the only thing I could just keep on saying to myself at that moment is, "I am NOT the greatest Dad, I'm not even close to being the greatest Dad." 

By the way, this T-shirt, whenever I wear this shirt, my girls seem to disobey, so I don't know if there's like a curse on this shirt or what is the deal but I don't wear this shirt very often anymore because of that fact.

Charlie Shedd, author and teacher, tells this story about himself. He says, "Before we had kids I used to travel all across the country teaching a lecture that I called The Ten Commandments for Raising Perfect Kids before I had kids.  After he and his wife, Martha, had their first child, he changed it to Ten Hints for Parents.  And then after they had their second child, he relabeled the lecture, A Few Tentative Suggestions For Fellow Strugglers.  [Laughter]  A Few Tentative Suggestions for Fellow Strugglers. And then, after the arrival of their third child, he just gave up speaking on the topic altogether, and I can totally understand why. 

I think if we were honest with each other, we would admit that we are all weak when it comes to parenting, that I am weak when it comes to parenting.  The problem is, in our Christian culture, we're told that as we read these parenting books and as we talk with other Christians, that we shouldn't feel this way.  That it is wrong for us to feel weak, like we don't know what we're doing.  In reality, we don't know what we're doing, but we want to give this appearance as if we do know what we're doing, like we have it all together, like we're doing it right, just by the book, by the parenting books that we've read and we forget at that point that we have fallen into pride.  Because at that point, you see, we're saying to ourselves, I can do it, I can do it, I can be a great parent.  I don't need any help.  I have what it takes.  Now, this story today stands in striking contrast to this view of "I can do it; I don't need any help; I have what it takes."

Look at the text again with me.  The odds are stacked up against Jehoshaphat.  He does not know what to do.  A great army is approaching him, and you would think that as the king he would know what to do.  He would be thinking to himself, "I can do it, I don't need any help." But, instead, he responds with humility.  Look at verse 12; this is part of his prayer:

Verse 12:

"O, our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."

Now, to get the context of this story, we need to back up a few chapters and see that under Jehoshaphat's rule as king, the nation of Judah was experiencing a time of reformation and revival.  The Word of God was being proclaimed and  people were turning back to the Lord.   Look at Chapter 19, Verse 4:

"Jehoshaphat lived at Jerusalem.  And he went out again among the people from Beersheba to the hill country of Ephraim, and brought them back to the LORD, the God of their fathers."

So Jehoshaphat was used by God to bring people back to God.  Now also under Jehoshaphat's rule as king he appointed people to govern and to lead underneath him. And he commanded them to serve faithfully and to live courageously.  Look at Verse 9 of Chapter 19:

"And he [that's Jehoshaphat] charged them: "Thus you shall do in the fear of the LORD, in faithfulness, and with your whole heart." 

And then look at Verse 11, which is the sentence right before Chapter 20, he tells his people:

"Deal courageously, and may the LORD be with the upright!"

So, he saying to his people serve faithfully, live courageously, and now, as we approach Chapter 20, God is asking Jehoshaphat to do the very same thing that he was asking his people to do.  He is telling Jehoshaphat to live courageously.  Here's an opportunity to live out what you have been saying to others, and to live courageously in light of this huge challenge in front of him. 

You see, this was not some small army. This was not some small army that was approaching Jehoshaphat.  This was a huge, great horde, a great army.  Look at how the writer of this story shares this picture with us.  Look at Verse 2 of Chapter 20:

"Some men came and told Jehoshaphat, "A great multitude is coming against you from Edom…"

And then drop down to Verse 12:

"O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde (or great army).

And then Verse 15, one more time:

"And he said, "Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jesuralem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde.'

So this army was huge. This was a vast army that was approaching Jehoshaphat, so my question is this.  What did Jehoshaphat do?  And what then did he do?  Look at Verse 3:

"Then Jehoshaphat was afraid."  He was afraid.  Not the typical response you would think a king would have.  You know, you think of a king as knowing what to do, being confident in his abilities.  He had no clue what to do.  And likewise, shouldn't we as parents, Christian parents nonetheless, know what to do? I mean shouldn't we be confident in our ability to lead our children? Look at this.  Jehoshaphat was afraid.  Are you ever afraid?  I am.  I'm afraid.  I'm afraid at times as I ponder the challenges of parenting.  I'm afraid at the kinds of things that are coming at my kids every day.  I'm afraid.  It can feel like a battle.  Why? Because it is.  Not a kind of battle that we can see, but a spiritual battle that's going on all around us.

Ephesians 6:12 says:
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.  There's a great army approaching our children every day and the leader of this army is bent on destroying our children.  The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy.  And he's aiming his flaming arrows right at us, Christian families.  I know this because I've evidenced it in my own life and in a lot of your lives.  And I want to tell you guys, he is not the greatest enemy, sin is.  Not the sin that's outside in this world, but the sin that's inside of us, in our flesh.  That's the greatest problem, that's the greatest enemy that we have, that your children have.  Because that enemy, sin, inside of us can kill us, forever, separating us from God forever in hell unless we find our cure in Jesus Christ and what he did for us on the cross.  So, this battle against Satan and sin is very real, just as real as the army that was coming after Jehoshaphat and his people. 

So, what did he do and what should we do?

First, like Jehoshaphat, we must admit our fears.  We must admit that we are afraid and then surrender our fears to God.  We must come to him with open hands and say, "God I'm afraid.  I don't know what to do here.  I'm surrendering."  That's the starting point….that's the starting point. 

Second, we see in Verse 3, look at Verse 3, in the very same breath it says this:

"Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the LORD."  Immediately after feeling this fear come over him, he set his face to seek the Lord. So we, too, must get on our knees and humbly seek the Lord in prayer, and not be afraid to ask others to pray for us.  That's why we're a body here, we need each other.  Don't be fearful of needing help in prayer, because there's power in prayer.  Not because prayer is powerful but because God is powerful.  See, as we pray, sometimes we think it's the power of our prayers.  It's not.  It's the power of God, as we come as weak people admitting our fears.

The third thing we see in the story is that Jehoshaphat not only admitted his fear, he also admitted his weakness.  Look at Verse 12, again:

"O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."  I love that line.  We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.  We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.  That should be the slogan for us as parents.  We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.  God, we don't know what to do when our baby is crying uncontrollably but our eyes are on you.  God, we don't know what to do when it comes to disciplining our children, but our eyes are on you.  God, we don't know what to do when our child is apathetic toward the things of God, but our eyes are on you.  God, we don't know what to do when it comes to giving our children more freedom to make their own choices, but our eyes are on you.  God, we don't know what to do when our children have fallen away and have gotten themselves in all kinds of trouble, but our eyes are on YOU!  Our eyes are on you.

Now, even though parenting has its share of struggles, I'm not forgetting the many joys that it brings, right? Children are not a burden, they are a blessing.  My wife and I found that out the hard way in having a miscarriage, and I know that many of you know the pain of that, and other circumstances where you realize "My children are a gift from God, I don't want to take them for granted."

Nevertheless, I think that Jehoshaphat helps us here.  He helps us to see that in our struggles as parents and in our struggles as people, we can be real with God.  I mean, here's the king who you would expect to have everything together, supposedly knowing what to do in these kinds of situations and here he is just admitted that he is weak. With this powerful army approaching him, he didn't feel very powerful.  He felt powerless.  He felt weak.  And I don't know about you guys, but that encourages me.  Because I don't need more people telling me, in the midst of a tough time, "Well, you just need to do this and you'll get it right, and you just need to do this a little bit better, and then you'll start to see these results, and you just need to maybe read this book or listen to that DVD and then you'll find out that it's going to help you along through this whole thing."

Now, don't get me wrong, I see the value in reading good parenting books, and obviously the best parenting book is the Bible.  We need to be reading the Word of God, but all of this could be done in vain if we don't come to the same point that Jehoshaphat came to.  We must come to the point where we are willing to admit our weakness.  We must come to the point where we're willing to say to God and others, "We're powerless; we're weak; we don't know what to do but our eyes are on you."  You guys, we need to come to this place because, listen, God's power is made perfect in weakness, not in our greatness.  God's power is made perfect in our weakness, not in our greatness.

2 Corinthians 12:9, God says to Paul:
"My Grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness."

God's power is made perfect in your weakness.  That means that when you are weak, the power of God is most clearly displayed.  That's amazing for me to ponder that thought.  And that also means that, listen, that also means God is also giving you mercy when you are weak.  I hesitate to say that, it's hard to swallow, but I think it's true from scripture.  God is actually giving you mercy when he is making you feel weak before him.  For some of you, that means that God has given you children, he's given to you children that keep you on your knees every night! I can't imagine some of the struggles that some of you face as parents.  He makes you weak with the challenges that you face each day, and I want to tell you guys he does not do that to hurt you.  He does that to help you and to keep you on your face, in humility, crying out to God, O God I'm weak, O God, I'm powerless here.  O God, I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on You.

Guys, when we get to this place, when we get to this point I think God is pleased.  Because now we can see more clearly, now we can see ourselves rightly and now we can see God rightly. Look at Verse 5 and 6:

"And Jehoshaphat stood in the assembly of Judah in Jerusalem, in the house of the LORD, before the new court and said, "O LORD, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven?  You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations.  In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you." 

As he prays, Jehoshaphat goes on to ask these three questions and the first question is: "Are you not God in heaven?" to which Jehoshaphat basically answers his own question, look at Verse 6 again: "O Lord God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven?  You are, because you rule over all the kingdoms of the nations.  In your hand are power and might so that none is able to withstand you?  Are you not God in heaven? You are God in heaven.  You are all powerful.  You control all things.  You are on the throne right now.  Nothing is able to withstand you.  Nothing is too difficult for you.  He sees God in all of his power and might and he knows that God is on the throne, and I ask you, do you know that God is on the throne right now in the midst of your circumstances with your children? Or with any circumstance you might be going through right now? Do you believe that God is bigger than whatever army or whatever situation you are facing?

Listen, how we respond to our fears will be a way that we teach our children how they respond to their fears.  How we engage our fears will have a huge impact on how our children will engage their fears, and so I ask you, in the midst of your fears, in the midst of you admitting your weakness, do you see the greatness of God, the bigness of him? He can handle it, he can do it.

Jehoshaphat asked yet another question, though, look at Verse 7. 

"Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel, and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?"

Essentially, this question is asking, "Did you not drive out our enemies in the past? And the answer is you did, you did!  God is not only a powerful God, he is also a faithful God.  And when we remember all of what God has done for us in the past, it will be the best way we can persevere in the present.  God's faithfulness is our fuel for perseverance. Later we're going to see in this story, these people who are appointed to praise God right at the front of the line as they go out to battle, and they sing: "Give thanks to the LORD for he is good, his steadfast love endures forever."  Steadfast covenant love of God keeps us, helps us to remember he's been faithful in the past, he'll be faithful now and in the future.

Last question that Jehoshaphat asks in his prayer, look at Verse 12:

"O Our God, will you not execute judgment on them?" Will you not execute judgment on our enemies, and maybe the question for us, maybe our question for us may be more like this, "Will you not come, God, to help me in the situation I'm am right now in? Will you not stand by me and give me wisdom to know how to lead my family through this? God, will you, will you help me?" And the answer is, He will!  He will!  So, these three questions Jehoshaphat asked in prayer are all answered.

Are you not God in heaven? You are!  Did you not drive out all of our enemies? You did!  And will you not help us now? He will!  God is able to do it.  We can trust God, listen, because of who he is, because of what he's done and because of what he will do, we can trust God.  Because of who he is, because of what he has done, and because of what he will do.

Look at Verses 14 and 15.  Prior to this all Judah is standing before the Lord wondering what's going to happen and all of a sudden, look at verse 14:

"And the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jahaziel, the son of Zechariah, son of Benaiah, son of Jeiel, son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, in the midst of the assembly. And he said, "Listen all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid, do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's."  The battle is not yours, but God's.  We need to remember that truth and let it sink into our souls.  The battle is not mine, it's yours, God, it's yours.  This word from the mouth of God's prophet propelled Jehoshaphat out of fear and into faith, believing that God could do it.  Jehoshaphat had cried out to the Lord, O God I am powerless, I don't know what to do, and God answers, "Fear not, Jehoshaphat, the battle is mine, the battle is mine."

And so the story comes to an amazing climax in verses 18-22, let's look at those, Verse 18:

"Then Johoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell down before the LORD, worshiping the LORD.  And the Levites of the Kohathites and the Korahites, stood up to praise the LORD, the God of Israel, with a very loud voice.

And they rose early in the morning and went out into the wilderness of Tekoa.  And when they went out Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Hear me, Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem.  Believe in the LORD your God, and you will be established; believe his prophets, and you will succeed." And when he had taken counsel with the people, he appointed those who were to sing to the LORD and praise him in holy attire, as they went before the army and say,

          "Give thanks to the LORD,

          For his steadfast love endures forever."

And when they began to sing and praise, the LORD set an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah, so that they were routed.

I just want to say something really quickly here.  Does it amaze you that God ordained praise to be the means of him displaying his power over the people that were coming against Judah? It amazes me, and you gotta know something about this story, that these people were random like people who were just kind of picked, "Hey could you come over here and sing for us?" No, these were actually the choir, the appointed choir, choir…these guys were appointed to be in the front lines of battle and to sing praises to God!  Sometimes I wonder in our view of worship, first of all we need to understand that worship is not just here but it's outside there in our daily lives and how we live, but also when we are here gathered together, praise can be a powerful way that God silences the Devil.  Praise him, you guys, in prayer and in song, with your family at home.  Use songs as a means of praising God and say "We trust you, God.  We don't know what to do, our eyes are on you, but we're going to praise you.  Great is your faithfulness."

You can think of many songs, maybe, that you could sing, when you're going through a tough time.  My own brother who is a missionary in Japan, has found so much hope in the song by Martin Luther, "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God."

Find ways to praise him in your homes, but Verse 20 is the key.  Look at Verse 20 again:
"And they rose early in the morning and went into the wilderness of Tekoa.  And when they went out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Hear me Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem.  Believe in the LORD your God and you will be established; believe his prophets and you will succeed."

Essentially, we could say, Jehoshaphat is saying to his people, "Have faith in God.  Have faith in his Word."  You see, he is coming to the point where even though he may still be fearful, he understands that he could have faith in a great God and he is encouraging the rest of his army to do so as well.  You know, Jehoshaphat knew that his people have no chance if God did not intervene.  He couldn't carry himself out of this, he needed God.  He believed that only God could do it. 

There's a story about a father, who once gave a challenge to his little kids.  He said, "Kids, if you can make it all the way up the stairs without letting your body touch the carpet, the stairs, the railing, the wall, or the ceiling, in other words your body can't touch anything, if you can make it all the way to the stop of the stairs, I'll give you guys a big bowl of ice cream." And so the kids started to think about it.  I wonder how I can make it to the top?  I can't touch that, I can't touch there…And finally, the youngest little girl in the family came up to her daddy and said, "Daddy I don't think I can make it to the top myself, but if you carry me, I can."

You know, little children can teach us so much about life, can't they? I think about you and I.  How do we respond.  If we think we can do it, if we think we don't need any help, if we think we're up to the task, we're fooling ourselves. I'm not.  Just like Jehoshaphat, we are weak and we are powerless.  We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you. 

So, parents I end with this final question to think about.  What do you do when you don't know what to do? Will you say, I don't need any help, I can fix it, I have what it takes….I….I….I   Or will you just stop  and do what Jehoshaphat did? When this great army was approaching him? Will you just stop  and just admit your fears before God? Just admit your weakness before him? And just cry out to him, God I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on you.  Admit your fears, admit your weaknesses and cry out to God, "We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.  Our eyes are on you, not on me, not on my circumstances, not on the latest parenting book.  My eyes are on you…My eyes are on you, Jesus.  Hebrews 12 says, "Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and the perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, scorning it's shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  How ironic it is that the weakness of the cross displayed the power of God.  The power of God over Satan, the power of God over sin, the power of God over death and if we come to the cross, willing to admit "I'm weak," willing to admit I have fears, I can't do it, willing to admit "I need you Jesus, help me to fix my eyes on you," he will carry you like a little child in his arms all the way up the stairs to find rest for your souls as he reminds you, "The battle is not yours, it's mine."